“Loud, alien and rude” were the words in the ad that fist attracted Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee to the talents of guitarist Mick Mars. History was made and the value of hairspray soared as The ‘Crüe battered all into a stonewashed cul-de-sac.

Even if the sonic damage is done, we ask: why should the tie-dyed, high-heeled hoolies of Mötley Crüe have all the fun? Sounds of a loud, alien and rude nature is what Smikkelbaard churns out, too.

Obdurately underground, (we gained our “Anderson Shelter proficiency” badges this spring), “Stoere Leidse”, stuffed with various cabbage and potato-based fare and on the look out for similarly inane friends, Smikkelbaard stumbles out into the light, smelling slightly of Febo and pulling coagulated strings of cheese from our bellybuttons.

Smikkelbaard- a label for young, thrusting and go-ahead people who like “Lekker/chilled/fokkingrelaxed/vet/tof music, jongens” and wear brogues with salmon pink trousers. Or not. Mostly not.